Food With A Point

A few days ago, on my way home from the gym after a morning work out, I passed by a well-liked bakery. The door was wide open and just as I walked by the threshold I heard one of the bakers yell out: “This place is (insert bad word here) disgusting!”. I think that ranks up there in terms of turn offs as hearing someone from a restaurant kitchen yell out “it’s okay, 30 second rule…”

This one, totally self explanatory... It doesn't taste "yummi", because it tastes ___

Ah, another classic… And this one isn’t meant to make restaurant people come off as arrogant or elitist, but if you are going to spend the money and then the extra time at the gym working it off, then you should really know better:

"Do they force feed your foie gras ducks?"

Ok, I know this is our heritage product, but let's be real... it doesn't have to go on EVERYTHING. And apparently (thankfully) I'm not the only one who thinks this to be true.

If someone offered me this as a snack, I don't really know what I would answer... This looks like an identity crisis to me - either you're a candy or you're a savoury snack. You just can't be both... and certainly not with that combination...

Apparently, not many people found this joint to be "to their taste"...

Sommeliers must hear it all (see my previous post: click here) and I sometimes wonder how they keep a straight face. Now perhaps this one will make me seem elitist but it should be fairly obvious. We are talking wine, not frozen juice concentrate… And as today is the first day of the Montreal Wine and Spirits Show, I think this gem is appropriate to share.

One night, a client asked a sommelier I once knew the following question:

“So when you say that the wine has some anise nuances, how do they do that? Does that mean they add licorice to the wine?”

…

I'm all in favour of saving time and abbreviations, but this is neither. This is just plain laziness... And the W. is supposed to stand for white, because the packages over had G. and the green variety inside...

There are certain things that one should never be able to purchase by the kilo or by any weight for that matter...

In this week’s edition of Maclean’s magazine, there is a very small snippet about likable advertising. This is not a typo, unfortunately…

First Flavor (www.firstflavor.com) has invented a format of advertising that makes the scratch and sniff revolution of my childhood seem like the A-trak to the Tivo. Essentially, you peel and sample the advertised product. So if you want to know what that new combination of fruit juice is going to taste like, or if the cough syrup is really that vile, now you can do so without any financial investment. Just lick the ad.

While the technology will clearly demonstrate if the strip on said advertising has already been licked, I find myself slightly revolted by the concept. Fondling the same magazines that strangers have already flipped through speaks strongly to the germophobe in me. I may just go totally hypochondriac knowing that people have actually put their mouth to the pages I’m touching… gross.