Food With A Point

Jealousy has no place at the table. And if it does, then that’s a table I prefer not to be seated at. Envy can be present, especially when it’s futterneid or food envy (click here).

Food envy is charming in a way because it occurs in a situation where others are present, which necessitates a form of sharing. We’ve all had that moment when the plates are set before us and we are forced to admit that we too should have order the duck rather than the steak. So we use numerous strategies in order to at least finagle a sample of the more desirable preparation. Sometimes, as a result of the swap of bites, we uncover that both parties have affinities for the alternate dish and an official plate exchange takes place. Futterneid can therefore create a positive desire to interact.

Another aspect of envy at the table is that it motivates action and leads individuals to be more democratic in their choices. After a few instances of feeling futterneid, one might be tempted to use a different approach when consulting a menu and consider deviating from the usual choices that appeal. Thinking differently is the first step towards acting differently and thus innovation. Once again, we note that futterneid can have positive consequences as it can lead to more diverse future dining experiences.

But envy is not jealousy. Whereas envy is the desire to have something one doesn’t yet, jealousy is the fear of losing something one already has (or thinks they have). Jealousy has a rival notion and so sharing is quite verboten as it may jeopardize the standing of one to the other and lead to a perceived potential loss. In the domain of food, which I think must remain democratic, jealousy should not exist. Food is about exchange, openness, discussions and gathering. If chefs were jealous, they would never produce dishes because the fear of having their ideas stolen would be too great. A winemaker would never release a vintage out of fear that it would all be drunk and he would no longer have a testament to his greatness. Book authors would never print their recipes, etc.

So when jealousy reared its ugly head (blond in this case) recently regarding my presence at a food related event about a food related topic, I quite lost my appetite. It was especially surprising because I had no idea what I was potentially threatening or how I could be in a position to prevent the offended party from acquiring and/or maintaining their status.

Later it dawned on me that it wasn’t a question of haves and haves not in this case, but perhaps just a very convoluted way of being made aware that my choices have an impact. A wise man once said: “If you don’t have any critics, then you’re in trouble because it means that no one cares about you”. Essentially, the abrasive reaction I experienced recently was a way of letting me know that I had or was something my detractor desired and in that sense, it was a validation. No one wants to operate in a vacuum where their choices don’t at least make a ripple and perhaps for this person it was a tsunami and that comes with the territory of being in a public forum – not everyone will be a fan. But I can at least make the distinction between these two effects and thus decide to which I should pay attention to. When someone has futterneid around me, I consider it a compliment as it signals they appreciate my choices. When someone exhibits jealousy towards me, I also consider it flattering because it means I’m different and perhaps capable of sparking discussion. And that’s an impact I am very proud to be able to create…

Here are the pieces that appeared on this site in the past week, in case you missed one (use the search engine at the top of the page to access these and others):

• Restaurant
• La Feuille de Menthe
• Wine & Drink
• Two Wines – A Learning Experience
• Discoveries & Ingredients
• Ranch Les Beaux Bisons
• Info – books, events, etc.
• Seasonal Produce Reference
• Recipes & Attempts
• The Healthiest Burgers Ever
• Wine Crate
• Things you don’t want to hear…