Food With A Point

Solanum tuberosum or the potato is the chameleon of produce. Not in terms of color, although it does come in a variety of hues, but more in terms of how it manages to lend itself to numerous preparations and treatments. Unassuming, this tuber can be anything it wants and always has a place on the plate.

But beware, not all spuds are created alike, particularly depending on how they are prepared or which sub-genus they belong to. Similarly, we can all belong to the same family, but can find ourselves stressing the distinctions between them (obnoxious brother-in-law) and us (civilized and charming). Surely waffle-cut or curly fries are a little inappropriate to serve next to a perfectly roasted deer sirloin with a red-wine reduction and forest mushrooms. Likewise, I don’t really know how a take-out burger would fare with a fine square of scalloped potatoes…

In fact, the divisions within a dynasty could find interesting metaphors using the common starch that constitutes the world’s largest tuber crop… Below I present some of the more obvious comparisons I could conceive or have had personal experience with. Hopefully you are not familiar with all of them…

Gratin dauphinois: The Harvard-educated cousin you rarely see and always makes you feel a little inadequate, even if you know that rising to his level is just a question of effort and not necessarily of talent.

Pommes parisienne: The great aunt, related somehow but you don’t know from which side of the family. Occasionally she appears at family functions but is always bland. It’s not because she wears her pearls that she brings anything particularly special to gatherings, much less discussions. And she always manages to ramble on about insipid “back in the day” type anecdotes.

Fries: The rebellious cousin that everyone knows is a bad influence, but engrosses everyone none the less. He always knows how to bring the party and people are always at ease with him. Even when he gets a bit out of hand or lacks a bit of class, people tend to gravitate, even if they regret it later

Roasted: The “nouveau riche” member of the family who doesn’t hesitate to tell you all about his new acquisitions, the designer who decorated his home and the pseudo-prestige of the people he surrounds himself with. You always feel the need to remind him that he is just like everyone else, regardless of the label on his suit… And his cologne tends to reek of rosemary…

Fingerling: The newest member to the family; he's interesting but you can’t shake the feeling that he’s given more credit than he deserves.

Mashed: The thing about this family member is that he epitomizes the “what you see is what you get” cliché. In fact, that’s why everyone enjoys his company and he is always welcome at family functions. There is honesty in mashed potatoes because he doesn’t take himself so seriously. He is just as good dressed up as he is casual. Introduce him to new acquaintances, he fits the bill – mingling with others while never overpowering them or undermining himself. He knows how to share the spotlight. He can be the glue that binds, the base sustaining more extravagant presentations and the cover for composite situations. He always gets an invite.

Potatoes, rooted in our daily lives in so many more ways than we think, or wish to admit, remain an essential part of our pantry and a staple in our kitchen. And this, whether we like it or not.